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SurviveExclusion was a big thing at my school as a kid.
I’d never really learned a good behavior.
I’d be rude and stay away from people as often as I possibly could.
Most times I kept quiet.
Silenced by the touches and scars of my assaults and violations.
Fear had been tightly sealed around my lips displaying the words
in large red letters.
I watched my innocence and bravery flitter away before school had even begun.
A place where I had shut myself away from the world.
Isolated myself to one friend whom I held dear.
Confusion had warped my mind as attractions came into play.
Afraid to speak up about a crush on my second grade teacher
Because she was a girl.
In fourth grade I’d tried to be a boy.
Thinking it would allow me to like both boys and girls in peace,
Only to discover it made their hatred of me stronger.
The “Amelia touch” was started and most kids wouldn’t go near me.
Nightmares constantly made me relive the horrors I’d see
I Hate YouI hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
I stand by you
And give you words of wisdom.
I act like theirs nothing wrong
Like I'm so happy to see you.
But I'm not.
I'd been hoping you'd fallen down a ditch
Or that you'd lost your way in a dark forest
Just so that for one day
I wouldn't have to see you.
To hear you say such awful things.
To watch you kick the ones you love.
To support you with dreams you want to come true.
When the truth is...
I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
What Can I Say?What can I say?
I'm proud of you two.
Lieing and cheating together.
All I've ever done
Is be here for you
And now you can't tell me the truth.
You can't look me in the eyes
And say how you feel
Because both of you know it's wrong.
Quit saying you love him.
You just don't.
And if you do,
Quit pretending you love another.
Another who has stuck by you,
Cared for you,
Then there's you.
I honestly thought it was fake.
Just a mirage in your eyes.
One built upon false hopes and lieing dreams.
But what you feel is real...
You do love her.
And she says she loves you,
And yet she's with another,
Who has no clue what's going on,
Is the blind eyes of love the oe we should blame?
Or is it just your stupidity.
I really don't know.
What can I say?
I can't tell you of my anger.
I've done all I can to make you both happy.
I've even fallen for you both.
But I accepted the truth and moved on.
Love is supposed to be pure,
But yours is a monster.
Xmen Evolution Episode 7: Welcome Home~Several days later~
“Attention everyone.” Came Professor Xavier’s voice over the intercom of the institute. Ariana looked up from the book she’d been reading in her room. “Amelia will be returning this afternoon and she’ll be going back to school tomorrow. Ariana looked to her friend’s empty bed and gave a sad frown. Amelia had been in the hospital for about three days now. It felt like forever, even though it wasn’t very long. “I’d like you all to respect her privacy and not ask her about why she was sick. Just treat her as if nothing has happened. Thank you.” Ariana felt her stomach begin to knot up as she remembered what she’d seen in Amelia’s memory. Mitch. Mitch had caused all of this. Ariana fumed as she spoke aloud to herself. “That fucking coward.” She was referring to the fact that the day after Amelia had been found, Mitch disappeared. The professor had asked Ariana to let him see the m
I'm Leaving for AwhileI'm leaving for awhile.
Not my body,
But my mind.
I can't handle all these secrets
All these lies
All these words.
So my soul shall soon by fleating
Away from here to some far meeting
So it can rest from all the pressure
And mend the heart thats broken.
I've tried to sew it up
But the peices just don't fit.
I've lost some along the way.
And yet I think I'll be okay.
For their happiness is all I seek.
It makes me smile to see their joy.
So I must leave,
I've got to go.
But I'll be here
As best I can be.
The only diffrence is
It won't really be me.
X-Men Evolution Episode Six: Something Horrible“How is she?” Noah asked when he saw Ariana. She was sitting in across from a room that read 377. They were both in a hallway. In a hospital. “I don’t know. They got her breathing before they took her onto the ambulance but she was still unconscious when we arrived. “Damn it!” Noah shouted, kicking the wall. “Noah, calm down. Getting angry won’t help.” Ariana told him in an attempt to calm him. “Well how the fuck am I supposed to feel!? I don’t see how you can be so fucking calm when your best friend is in the hospital, unconscious!” He replied, glaring at her angrily. Ariana looked into her lap sadly without responding. Noah snapped out of his anger when he saw little water droplet fall from her hair covered face. “A-Ariana... I’m sorry. I just... she means a lot to me. She’s like a little sister to me and I just lose it when people I care about are hurt.” Ariana sat back up and wiper the t
X-Men Evolution Episode 5: The KissSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now. This takes place maybe about two weeks after where the last episode left off.
"Ok everybody! This has been a fantastic first day of rehearsal! But now the time has come to work on... this kiss." Amelia mentally groaned while the entire cast (Even stage-crew) sat down in the audience seats. "Well this is gonna suck." She thought to herself. The director of the musical, Mrs.Davis, directed them to their spot. "Now, when I say go, start riiiiiiiiight here!" She said pointing at a specific line. "I just don't know if this is right anymore Troy. I don't like hiding from my friends." Amelia said getting into her character Rose. "They don't matter right now. All that matters right here and right now is you," Noah said as Troy before placed his hand on her cheek. "And me." This was it. This was the big moment. Amelia leaned up on her tip toes and tried to steady her heartbeat and- "TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" came Xavier's voice from the doors le
X-Men Evolution Episode 4: Love InterestsSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now.
"OH HEX TO THE NO." Amelia shouted as she crossed her arms and stomped her foot defiantly. "Oh come oooon Amelia! It's not that bad!" Ariana told her in an attempt to persuade her stubborn friend. "THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT!!" Ariana rolled her eyes as Amelia went into a long shpeil about why she refused to participate in the institutes latest fundraiser. This time it was a carnival. Now don't get Amelia wrong, she loved carnivals. She thought they were tons of fun! But what she did not find fun, was running a kissing booth. "I CAN'T RUN A FRED WEASLYING KISSING BOOTH!" She shouted angrily. "Why the biscuits not!?" Amelia looked around to make sure nobody was listening. Once she'd confirmed that the two were alone, she leaned over to Ariana's right ear and whispered her secret. Ariana's eyes widened. "What!? You've only kissed one-mmph!!!" Her shout was cut off by Amelia's hand covering her loud mouth. "Keep your voice down or el
I am a MouseI am a mouse.
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
A void within meAlone on this inhospitable night, once again
I let my memories guide my lost steps,
Wandering amid the ghosts of my past.
As I walk along the quay,
I stare at the feeble Seine flowing:
She's dying by the street lamps' hands
While the whole city asphyxiates.
Reflecting my own lack of humanity
Over the river's lighted surface,
Griefs come and go at the water's rhythm.
Once again, on this breathtaking night,
My feelings are sealed and my chest hollow.
Purple rain, chills of cold.... Or regret? I crave
My musical drug, my remaining salvation,
Spreading a sweet poison within me and
Eroding the remaining happiness I still have.
I plug my headphones...
A grin of relief appears on my weary face,
I flee to lenient lands, where a familiar Angel tucks me in.
These notes of violin split the immutable silence,
Fill the hole in, lit a bonfire to my soul.
This mermaid sings my dreams to me,
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
The PointIt’s the taste of cake mix on the spoon, that first time you ‘help’ bake a cake.
It’s seeing the bright world afresh after a dark nightmare, when you first wake.
It’s when you make them laugh and, in that moment, everyone loves a clown.
It’s when your heart stops before the roller coaster plummets down, down.
It’s when the lights go out before your favourite band plays and you scream.
It’s that moment you look around and everything’s perfect enough to be a dream.
It’s the anticipation of waiting for a new episode of your favourite television show.
It’s the first time you listen to your favourite record and you just sort of know.
It’s reading a book cover-to-cover and a million times more and still crying at the ending.
It’s the stiff, tight, real feeling of a smiling scab as you watch the wound mending.
It’s when you first meet your best friend and you hate each other (but in a good way).
california wintersthe tears
I rationed have all
run out. Tuesday comes
up behind me and steals
my breath; my cat snores.
she can’t sleep soundly
since she lost her seventh
life. I’m like that, I’m always
worried someone will try to steal
what I’ve already given away.
I miss color. newsprint sobs
washed me out. I am a
blank canvas, I am a faceless,
I am one
of you. I wake up sweating
and it’s winter and I can’t
sleep because my memories
follow me between my sheets;
jake still won’t listen.
we never knew we were the
lucky ones, we scarred, too. don’t
touch me. don’t want
me, don’t bare my bones
when you think I’m not
watching. I’m afraid of
myself. breathing loud
enough that others know
I exist; you follow me,
needing, laughing, it’s
a game. who has lost
the most, we all want
to win; I’m so tired, so scared,
there’s no one in the world
who sees me. I can’t cry.
we’re in a drought.
Un roti de Cupidon"Patron.. je suis pas sûr que ça soit une si bonne idée..."
Un bruissement d'ailes presque froufroutant sur sa gauche le fit se retourner d'un bond, mais il ne put percevoir qu'un bref mouvement du coin de l'oeil. Ils étaient rapides, bien trop rapides. Jamais le vieux ne réussirait. De nouveau ce bruit soyeux, semblable à des ailes de tourterelles, mais bien plus proche. Dans son esprit il pouvait les voir, tournant au dessus de sa tête comme autant de vautours prêts à la curée.
Le bruit assourdi des détonations résonna et tout autour d'Emmanuel une pluie de plumes commença à virevolter tandis que cinq bruits sourds accompagnaient la chute d'autant de corps autour de lui.
"Ramasse les, petit. On a encore du boulot."
Avec une grimace mi admirative, mi dégoûtée, le jeune homme se mit au travail, enfilant des lourds gants de cuir pour se protéger. Son sup
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More