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SurviveExclusion was a big thing at my school as a kid.
I’d never really learned a good behavior.
I’d be rude and stay away from people as often as I possibly could.
Most times I kept quiet.
Silenced by the touches and scars of my assaults and violations.
Fear had been tightly sealed around my lips displaying the words
in large red letters.
I watched my innocence and bravery flitter away before school had even begun.
A place where I had shut myself away from the world.
Isolated myself to one friend whom I held dear.
Confusion had warped my mind as attractions came into play.
Afraid to speak up about a crush on my second grade teacher
Because she was a girl.
In fourth grade I’d tried to be a boy.
Thinking it would allow me to like both boys and girls in peace,
Only to discover it made their hatred of me stronger.
The “Amelia touch” was started and most kids wouldn’t go near me.
Nightmares constantly made me relive the horrors I’d see
I Hate YouI hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
I stand by you
And give you words of wisdom.
I act like theirs nothing wrong
Like I'm so happy to see you.
But I'm not.
I'd been hoping you'd fallen down a ditch
Or that you'd lost your way in a dark forest
Just so that for one day
I wouldn't have to see you.
To hear you say such awful things.
To watch you kick the ones you love.
To support you with dreams you want to come true.
When the truth is...
I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
What Can I Say?What can I say?
I'm proud of you two.
Lieing and cheating together.
All I've ever done
Is be here for you
And now you can't tell me the truth.
You can't look me in the eyes
And say how you feel
Because both of you know it's wrong.
Quit saying you love him.
You just don't.
And if you do,
Quit pretending you love another.
Another who has stuck by you,
Cared for you,
Then there's you.
I honestly thought it was fake.
Just a mirage in your eyes.
One built upon false hopes and lieing dreams.
But what you feel is real...
You do love her.
And she says she loves you,
And yet she's with another,
Who has no clue what's going on,
Is the blind eyes of love the oe we should blame?
Or is it just your stupidity.
I really don't know.
What can I say?
I can't tell you of my anger.
I've done all I can to make you both happy.
I've even fallen for you both.
But I accepted the truth and moved on.
Love is supposed to be pure,
But yours is a monster.
Xmen Evolution Episode 7: Welcome Home~Several days later~
“Attention everyone.” Came Professor Xavier’s voice over the intercom of the institute. Ariana looked up from the book she’d been reading in her room. “Amelia will be returning this afternoon and she’ll be going back to school tomorrow. Ariana looked to her friend’s empty bed and gave a sad frown. Amelia had been in the hospital for about three days now. It felt like forever, even though it wasn’t very long. “I’d like you all to respect her privacy and not ask her about why she was sick. Just treat her as if nothing has happened. Thank you.” Ariana felt her stomach begin to knot up as she remembered what she’d seen in Amelia’s memory. Mitch. Mitch had caused all of this. Ariana fumed as she spoke aloud to herself. “That fucking coward.” She was referring to the fact that the day after Amelia had been found, Mitch disappeared. The professor had asked Ariana to let him see the m
I'm Leaving for AwhileI'm leaving for awhile.
Not my body,
But my mind.
I can't handle all these secrets
All these lies
All these words.
So my soul shall soon by fleating
Away from here to some far meeting
So it can rest from all the pressure
And mend the heart thats broken.
I've tried to sew it up
But the peices just don't fit.
I've lost some along the way.
And yet I think I'll be okay.
For their happiness is all I seek.
It makes me smile to see their joy.
So I must leave,
I've got to go.
But I'll be here
As best I can be.
The only diffrence is
It won't really be me.
X-Men Evolution Episode Six: Something Horrible“How is she?” Noah asked when he saw Ariana. She was sitting in across from a room that read 377. They were both in a hallway. In a hospital. “I don’t know. They got her breathing before they took her onto the ambulance but she was still unconscious when we arrived. “Damn it!” Noah shouted, kicking the wall. “Noah, calm down. Getting angry won’t help.” Ariana told him in an attempt to calm him. “Well how the fuck am I supposed to feel!? I don’t see how you can be so fucking calm when your best friend is in the hospital, unconscious!” He replied, glaring at her angrily. Ariana looked into her lap sadly without responding. Noah snapped out of his anger when he saw little water droplet fall from her hair covered face. “A-Ariana... I’m sorry. I just... she means a lot to me. She’s like a little sister to me and I just lose it when people I care about are hurt.” Ariana sat back up and wiper the t
X-Men Evolution Episode 5: The KissSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now. This takes place maybe about two weeks after where the last episode left off.
"Ok everybody! This has been a fantastic first day of rehearsal! But now the time has come to work on... this kiss." Amelia mentally groaned while the entire cast (Even stage-crew) sat down in the audience seats. "Well this is gonna suck." She thought to herself. The director of the musical, Mrs.Davis, directed them to their spot. "Now, when I say go, start riiiiiiiiight here!" She said pointing at a specific line. "I just don't know if this is right anymore Troy. I don't like hiding from my friends." Amelia said getting into her character Rose. "They don't matter right now. All that matters right here and right now is you," Noah said as Troy before placed his hand on her cheek. "And me." This was it. This was the big moment. Amelia leaned up on her tip toes and tried to steady her heartbeat and- "TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" came Xavier's voice from the doors le
X-Men Evolution Episode 4: Love InterestsSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now.
"OH HEX TO THE NO." Amelia shouted as she crossed her arms and stomped her foot defiantly. "Oh come oooon Amelia! It's not that bad!" Ariana told her in an attempt to persuade her stubborn friend. "THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT!!" Ariana rolled her eyes as Amelia went into a long shpeil about why she refused to participate in the institutes latest fundraiser. This time it was a carnival. Now don't get Amelia wrong, she loved carnivals. She thought they were tons of fun! But what she did not find fun, was running a kissing booth. "I CAN'T RUN A FRED WEASLYING KISSING BOOTH!" She shouted angrily. "Why the biscuits not!?" Amelia looked around to make sure nobody was listening. Once she'd confirmed that the two were alone, she leaned over to Ariana's right ear and whispered her secret. Ariana's eyes widened. "What!? You've only kissed one-mmph!!!" Her shout was cut off by Amelia's hand covering her loud mouth. "Keep your voice down or el
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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