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SurviveExclusion was a big thing at my school as a kid.
I’d never really learned a good behavior.
I’d be rude and stay away from people as often as I possibly could.
Most times I kept quiet.
Silenced by the touches and scars of my assaults and violations.
Fear had been tightly sealed around my lips displaying the words
in large red letters.
I watched my innocence and bravery flitter away before school had even begun.
A place where I had shut myself away from the world.
Isolated myself to one friend whom I held dear.
Confusion had warped my mind as attractions came into play.
Afraid to speak up about a crush on my second grade teacher
Because she was a girl.
In fourth grade I’d tried to be a boy.
Thinking it would allow me to like both boys and girls in peace,
Only to discover it made their hatred of me stronger.
The “Amelia touch” was started and most kids wouldn’t go near me.
Nightmares constantly made me relive the horrors I’d see
I Hate YouI hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
I stand by you
And give you words of wisdom.
I act like theirs nothing wrong
Like I'm so happy to see you.
But I'm not.
I'd been hoping you'd fallen down a ditch
Or that you'd lost your way in a dark forest
Just so that for one day
I wouldn't have to see you.
To hear you say such awful things.
To watch you kick the ones you love.
To support you with dreams you want to come true.
When the truth is...
I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
What Can I Say?What can I say?
I'm proud of you two.
Lieing and cheating together.
All I've ever done
Is be here for you
And now you can't tell me the truth.
You can't look me in the eyes
And say how you feel
Because both of you know it's wrong.
Quit saying you love him.
You just don't.
And if you do,
Quit pretending you love another.
Another who has stuck by you,
Cared for you,
Then there's you.
I honestly thought it was fake.
Just a mirage in your eyes.
One built upon false hopes and lieing dreams.
But what you feel is real...
You do love her.
And she says she loves you,
And yet she's with another,
Who has no clue what's going on,
Is the blind eyes of love the oe we should blame?
Or is it just your stupidity.
I really don't know.
What can I say?
I can't tell you of my anger.
I've done all I can to make you both happy.
I've even fallen for you both.
But I accepted the truth and moved on.
Love is supposed to be pure,
But yours is a monster.
Xmen Evolution Episode 7: Welcome Home~Several days later~
“Attention everyone.” Came Professor Xavier’s voice over the intercom of the institute. Ariana looked up from the book she’d been reading in her room. “Amelia will be returning this afternoon and she’ll be going back to school tomorrow. Ariana looked to her friend’s empty bed and gave a sad frown. Amelia had been in the hospital for about three days now. It felt like forever, even though it wasn’t very long. “I’d like you all to respect her privacy and not ask her about why she was sick. Just treat her as if nothing has happened. Thank you.” Ariana felt her stomach begin to knot up as she remembered what she’d seen in Amelia’s memory. Mitch. Mitch had caused all of this. Ariana fumed as she spoke aloud to herself. “That fucking coward.” She was referring to the fact that the day after Amelia had been found, Mitch disappeared. The professor had asked Ariana to let him see the m
I'm Leaving for AwhileI'm leaving for awhile.
Not my body,
But my mind.
I can't handle all these secrets
All these lies
All these words.
So my soul shall soon by fleating
Away from here to some far meeting
So it can rest from all the pressure
And mend the heart thats broken.
I've tried to sew it up
But the peices just don't fit.
I've lost some along the way.
And yet I think I'll be okay.
For their happiness is all I seek.
It makes me smile to see their joy.
So I must leave,
I've got to go.
But I'll be here
As best I can be.
The only diffrence is
It won't really be me.
X-Men Evolution Episode Six: Something Horrible“How is she?” Noah asked when he saw Ariana. She was sitting in across from a room that read 377. They were both in a hallway. In a hospital. “I don’t know. They got her breathing before they took her onto the ambulance but she was still unconscious when we arrived. “Damn it!” Noah shouted, kicking the wall. “Noah, calm down. Getting angry won’t help.” Ariana told him in an attempt to calm him. “Well how the fuck am I supposed to feel!? I don’t see how you can be so fucking calm when your best friend is in the hospital, unconscious!” He replied, glaring at her angrily. Ariana looked into her lap sadly without responding. Noah snapped out of his anger when he saw little water droplet fall from her hair covered face. “A-Ariana... I’m sorry. I just... she means a lot to me. She’s like a little sister to me and I just lose it when people I care about are hurt.” Ariana sat back up and wiper the t
X-Men Evolution Episode 5: The KissSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now. This takes place maybe about two weeks after where the last episode left off.
"Ok everybody! This has been a fantastic first day of rehearsal! But now the time has come to work on... this kiss." Amelia mentally groaned while the entire cast (Even stage-crew) sat down in the audience seats. "Well this is gonna suck." She thought to herself. The director of the musical, Mrs.Davis, directed them to their spot. "Now, when I say go, start riiiiiiiiight here!" She said pointing at a specific line. "I just don't know if this is right anymore Troy. I don't like hiding from my friends." Amelia said getting into her character Rose. "They don't matter right now. All that matters right here and right now is you," Noah said as Troy before placed his hand on her cheek. "And me." This was it. This was the big moment. Amelia leaned up on her tip toes and tried to steady her heartbeat and- "TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" came Xavier's voice from the doors le
X-Men Evolution Episode 4: Love InterestsSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now.
"OH HEX TO THE NO." Amelia shouted as she crossed her arms and stomped her foot defiantly. "Oh come oooon Amelia! It's not that bad!" Ariana told her in an attempt to persuade her stubborn friend. "THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT!!" Ariana rolled her eyes as Amelia went into a long shpeil about why she refused to participate in the institutes latest fundraiser. This time it was a carnival. Now don't get Amelia wrong, she loved carnivals. She thought they were tons of fun! But what she did not find fun, was running a kissing booth. "I CAN'T RUN A FRED WEASLYING KISSING BOOTH!" She shouted angrily. "Why the biscuits not!?" Amelia looked around to make sure nobody was listening. Once she'd confirmed that the two were alone, she leaned over to Ariana's right ear and whispered her secret. Ariana's eyes widened. "What!? You've only kissed one-mmph!!!" Her shout was cut off by Amelia's hand covering her loud mouth. "Keep your voice down or el
How to be Populardon’t talk
go to parties
listen to friends
go with the flow
drink some more
don’t let them see the tears
as you cry yourself to sleep
for the most important thing
is to be popular
fall in love with (splitting hairline fractures)we swallow blues instead
of talking them out. oh,
kids like us are specters,
spectacles: boys counting
rib(cage)s & (de)composing
don't you hate
is a vessel
we're deities or tomb-raiders; no
in-betweens for writers these days
Dark SideThere's another side of me
A side I barely show
It's my dark side
And my pride
The time I showed it to my friends
They were shocked, worried
I will tell you what they said
Decide for me
If these are what you call
One said 'just be happy'
One said 'that isn't true!'
One said ' but I've got it much worse'
One said 'don't be annoying'
One said nothing at all
Only One listened
That could be you
This is my dark side
The one that tells the truth
It makes me write
It keeps my dreams
It is everything I have
But no one knows
i'm not going to lie and say she was perfect.her skin was spotted with what she passed off as freckles,
but what were really scars from a thousand summer suns
as she ran about outside,
climbing trees and treading rivers,
pretending to be an american bomber
in the midst of WWII.
she kept crimson stains on pearl pink lips,
which always had the habit of getting on her teeth
because she put on make-up after dressing in her car
and ordering coffee in every way she hated it
as she drove to the record store three times a day,
ignoring her job downtown.
she owned four and a half hairbrushes exactly,
i took count on the first night i stepped into that whirl-wind room,
though her lopsided up-dos of messy blonde hair revealed just how much her fingers
never broke the dust.
she had these lovely fragile hands
that showed each and every vein and bone,
the type of hands made for tearing boys like me apart.
how could i have even expected to survive,
a paper poet
held against a reckless flame?
Panic attackIt hits me like a wave,
These thoughts of fear and regret.
They swarm all around me,
Trapping me inside my own head.
Pretty soon, I am suffocating,
Please someone save me!
My heart beat races,
As does the thoughts that pick up the pace.
Of sending me memories I've kept and buried so long inside.
They've come back to haunt me tonight.
And as soon as it came,
It was gone,
Leaving me here.
And what was left of me,
The sound of silenceThe sound of silence,
Is so deafening,
That it makes my ears ring,
With the cacophony of my own insanity.
Being afraid to speakThe unpleasantries of past events
Were driven by the voices of contempt
Leaving me breathless
To that effect, I was left senseless
And when I laid under the covers
As I tried to warm myself from the cold stares
I shiver, as my skin turned white
By the solace of silence
But, as I overcame their sadness
I learned to embrace the cold
Until I was able to give warmth to others
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
Short PoemHer eyes return my gaze,
A gentle “Hello” at first glance.
Those chocolate brown coloured eyes,
So full of love and compassion.
Without a sound from my lips,
A solitary cry escapes.
Her serene marble-like stare,
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More