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SurviveExclusion was a big thing at my school as a kid.
I’d never really learned a good behavior.
I’d be rude and stay away from people as often as I possibly could.
Most times I kept quiet.
Silenced by the touches and scars of my assaults and violations.
Fear had been tightly sealed around my lips displaying the words
in large red letters.
I watched my innocence and bravery flitter away before school had even begun.
A place where I had shut myself away from the world.
Isolated myself to one friend whom I held dear.
Confusion had warped my mind as attractions came into play.
Afraid to speak up about a crush on my second grade teacher
Because she was a girl.
In fourth grade I’d tried to be a boy.
Thinking it would allow me to like both boys and girls in peace,
Only to discover it made their hatred of me stronger.
The “Amelia touch” was started and most kids wouldn’t go near me.
Nightmares constantly made me relive the horrors I’d see
I Hate YouI hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
I stand by you
And give you words of wisdom.
I act like theirs nothing wrong
Like I'm so happy to see you.
But I'm not.
I'd been hoping you'd fallen down a ditch
Or that you'd lost your way in a dark forest
Just so that for one day
I wouldn't have to see you.
To hear you say such awful things.
To watch you kick the ones you love.
To support you with dreams you want to come true.
When the truth is...
I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
What Can I Say?What can I say?
I'm proud of you two.
Lieing and cheating together.
All I've ever done
Is be here for you
And now you can't tell me the truth.
You can't look me in the eyes
And say how you feel
Because both of you know it's wrong.
Quit saying you love him.
You just don't.
And if you do,
Quit pretending you love another.
Another who has stuck by you,
Cared for you,
Then there's you.
I honestly thought it was fake.
Just a mirage in your eyes.
One built upon false hopes and lieing dreams.
But what you feel is real...
You do love her.
And she says she loves you,
And yet she's with another,
Who has no clue what's going on,
Is the blind eyes of love the oe we should blame?
Or is it just your stupidity.
I really don't know.
What can I say?
I can't tell you of my anger.
I've done all I can to make you both happy.
I've even fallen for you both.
But I accepted the truth and moved on.
Love is supposed to be pure,
But yours is a monster.
Xmen Evolution Episode 7: Welcome Home~Several days later~
“Attention everyone.” Came Professor Xavier’s voice over the intercom of the institute. Ariana looked up from the book she’d been reading in her room. “Amelia will be returning this afternoon and she’ll be going back to school tomorrow. Ariana looked to her friend’s empty bed and gave a sad frown. Amelia had been in the hospital for about three days now. It felt like forever, even though it wasn’t very long. “I’d like you all to respect her privacy and not ask her about why she was sick. Just treat her as if nothing has happened. Thank you.” Ariana felt her stomach begin to knot up as she remembered what she’d seen in Amelia’s memory. Mitch. Mitch had caused all of this. Ariana fumed as she spoke aloud to herself. “That fucking coward.” She was referring to the fact that the day after Amelia had been found, Mitch disappeared. The professor had asked Ariana to let him see the m
I'm Leaving for AwhileI'm leaving for awhile.
Not my body,
But my mind.
I can't handle all these secrets
All these lies
All these words.
So my soul shall soon by fleating
Away from here to some far meeting
So it can rest from all the pressure
And mend the heart thats broken.
I've tried to sew it up
But the peices just don't fit.
I've lost some along the way.
And yet I think I'll be okay.
For their happiness is all I seek.
It makes me smile to see their joy.
So I must leave,
I've got to go.
But I'll be here
As best I can be.
The only diffrence is
It won't really be me.
X-Men Evolution Episode Six: Something Horrible“How is she?” Noah asked when he saw Ariana. She was sitting in across from a room that read 377. They were both in a hallway. In a hospital. “I don’t know. They got her breathing before they took her onto the ambulance but she was still unconscious when we arrived. “Damn it!” Noah shouted, kicking the wall. “Noah, calm down. Getting angry won’t help.” Ariana told him in an attempt to calm him. “Well how the fuck am I supposed to feel!? I don’t see how you can be so fucking calm when your best friend is in the hospital, unconscious!” He replied, glaring at her angrily. Ariana looked into her lap sadly without responding. Noah snapped out of his anger when he saw little water droplet fall from her hair covered face. “A-Ariana... I’m sorry. I just... she means a lot to me. She’s like a little sister to me and I just lose it when people I care about are hurt.” Ariana sat back up and wiper the t
X-Men Evolution Episode 5: The KissSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now. This takes place maybe about two weeks after where the last episode left off.
"Ok everybody! This has been a fantastic first day of rehearsal! But now the time has come to work on... this kiss." Amelia mentally groaned while the entire cast (Even stage-crew) sat down in the audience seats. "Well this is gonna suck." She thought to herself. The director of the musical, Mrs.Davis, directed them to their spot. "Now, when I say go, start riiiiiiiiight here!" She said pointing at a specific line. "I just don't know if this is right anymore Troy. I don't like hiding from my friends." Amelia said getting into her character Rose. "They don't matter right now. All that matters right here and right now is you," Noah said as Troy before placed his hand on her cheek. "And me." This was it. This was the big moment. Amelia leaned up on her tip toes and tried to steady her heartbeat and- "TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" came Xavier's voice from the doors le
X-Men Evolution Episode 4: Love InterestsSIDE NOTE: They've been here about five months now.
"OH HEX TO THE NO." Amelia shouted as she crossed her arms and stomped her foot defiantly. "Oh come oooon Amelia! It's not that bad!" Ariana told her in an attempt to persuade her stubborn friend. "THERE IS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT!!" Ariana rolled her eyes as Amelia went into a long shpeil about why she refused to participate in the institutes latest fundraiser. This time it was a carnival. Now don't get Amelia wrong, she loved carnivals. She thought they were tons of fun! But what she did not find fun, was running a kissing booth. "I CAN'T RUN A FRED WEASLYING KISSING BOOTH!" She shouted angrily. "Why the biscuits not!?" Amelia looked around to make sure nobody was listening. Once she'd confirmed that the two were alone, she leaned over to Ariana's right ear and whispered her secret. Ariana's eyes widened. "What!? You've only kissed one-mmph!!!" Her shout was cut off by Amelia's hand covering her loud mouth. "Keep your voice down or el
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
DifferentDifferent on the outside,
Different mask you see daily,
Different girl you call ‘Hailey’
To my surprise
Your ears are distracted,
So I tell lies, looking into your eyes,
“Yea I’m fine. Simply tired”
For that response my brain is wired.
Different mouth you hear speaking,
Different voice you hear screaming
Different eyes you see pleading,
Different person you’d befriended
I’m sorry this is how it’s ended.
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Volpi.You will find that the story you tell
is very rarely your own. In Lucca,
even the smallest pebbles
breathe in the warm sunlight.
Knotted stones and cobbled roads
beat out a paper-dry heartbeat heat
my city breathes in and out,
inhales sparrow air.
It's writing a story.
You are the pen.
You will find that in Lucca
the daisy chains forge fire
in side streets and back alleys.
Teenagers intertwine. Tell me,
odd flower, are you still closed?
Here we are colored wax;
the heat of the city melts us.
We run into each other, rhapsody
of pigments. Operas are our specialties.
Open up; feel the reds.
If not, try and see them. There is a place
of deep knife marks, a street
long as midnight
you may learn something there.
Valentina's voice glimmers like red wine.
You may enjoy intoxications. Still,
know alcohol has no story
and will swallow your own.
Find the sign with the wolf on it.
You'll know the place. Epiphanies ring true as church-bells.
Lucca still guides the wanderers
to well sp
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